“There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them”

– Ralph Marston

 

Many of us are committed to a journey of personal development and growth.

 

While this is a trait to be celebrated, it can also have a dark side.  We can become a little militant and dogmatic in our outlook.

 

As we focus on our attempts to make changes in our own lives, our views can narrow.

 

Newly armed with a confirmation bias, we are eager to seek out others that agree with us, so we can back up ‘our views’.  We seek our tribe.

 

Being with people that share our passion is exciting, intoxicating.  It’s great to have a common goal, talk about shared passions and connect, with others that really ‘get it’.

 

Being in a tribe can also distort our perspective. Only seeing and hearing a biased view.  Losing objectivity as we seek clarity.  Becoming ever more rigid in our thinking.

 

This can lead to all sorts of odd behaviour.  Citing an obscure study to ‘prove’ our point.  Using secondhand science (often questionable science at that) as our weapon of choice.

 

We puff out our chests, we make ourselves feel and sound knowledgeable.  Lost to the absurdity of this approach.

 

Collectively, this behaviour leads to us becoming dogmatic, thinking our way is the only way.  What started as a positive pursuit takes a detour.

 

 

Our Journey is Our Journey

No need to complicate things.  Personal journeys should be personal.  We’re not in competition and even if we are, it’s with ourselves.

 

You can call yourself a minimalist if you like but owning less than your neighbour doesn’t automatically make you a better person.

 

You can call yourself a mindfulness advocate and commit to daily meditation, yoga and self-care practices but not everyone needs a formal meditative practice to be mindful. Equally, not everyone with a daily meditative practice is mindful.

 

You can choose to strengthen your body by lifting your own bodyweight if you like but it’s fine if someone else chooses to push weights or rocks instead.

 

You can choose to follow a Keto diet without bashing vegans, or vice versa.  People can, and do, thrive on many diets as the Blue Zones around the world already make clear.  Different bodies can react very differently to similar diets.

 

You can choose to follow a religion that calls to you.  You can do that without damning someone else who follows a different faith or has no religious beliefs.

 

You can choose to do all of this quietly in your own way.

 

Or perhaps you choose to share what you are doing with others, in the hope of inspiring them, or to support you on your own journey.  If you share, let’s drop the false air of superiority and self-righteousness.  No need to hide behind dogma or use it as a weapon to fire at others.

 

Follow your passions in life, embrace them, enjoy and celebrate them.  But have an awareness that others are just as passionate about their passions.

 

Leave the dogma behind and remember, there are many routes to the top of any mountain.

 

 

 

**Note: this is a riff off an earlier and more expansive essay for Tiny Buddha

 

 

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