“A successful path is one that is lived through understanding and pursuing one’s own path, not chasing after the dreams of others” — Chin Ning Chu
In many ways, we are all on our own journey within the wider world.
Whilst we are surrounded by others, the answers we seek will often come from inside.
The world at large will try to force constructs upon us. Ideas about the way things should be. Other people will be all too happy to tell us what we can and cannot do. Tell us what we should and shouldn’t think. Tell us what we should and shouldn’t feel.
Sometimes these voices will even be from those closest to us. Loved ones that may believe they have our best interests at heart.
However, our sweetest moments in life will so often come from forming our own constructs. From forging our own path. From proving we can, when others thought we could not. From blazing a trail of our making.
Reconnecting the Dots of Life — Personal Reflection
My own journey in life has led me to a place where I now make regular time for self-reflection and self-enquiry. This time inside has led me to question the world outside a little harder. The lens through which I view the world has altered as a consequence.
Ideals of success I once held no longer fit for me. The new car, the fancy job titles, the corner office. None of it means much to me anymore. I’m not sure it ever really did — deep inside. I just thought that was what I should be chasing.
I now seek value in more meaningful ways, aligned to what’s important to me.
What others think of me matters less than it once did, as long as I remain true to myself. I hope you will like what I have to say, I hope we will get on if we meet but I realise my view is not the only view. I realise I’m not for everyone and that’s just fine. I can only be me and mostly, I’m happy being me.
Chasing more of more, matters a whole lot less than it once did. Instead, I try to focus on the right kind of enough. Quality over quantity.
Enquiry Within
This time for self-enquiry is focused on asking myself a series of repeating questions and reflecting on what I find. Some questions I ask myself regularly include variants of the following:
What lights me up?
What gets me excited?
What’s the best part of my day/week/month/year?
Can I bring more of these moments into my life, at an increased frequency?
The answers to these questions can change so it’s important to revisit them without judgement. The practice and discipline is here.
“We can liberate ourselves, elevate our thinking, challenge ourselves. We can set our own benchmarks for success.”
The Focusing Questions
In addition to this, I also do some regular 80/20 analysis. At the core of this practice are another series of simple yet probing questions. These act as triggers for action.
Some of the most powerful 80/20 questions we can ask ourselves are
1) Is what I’m busy with:
a) important to me?
b) aligned to who I want to be and the change I want to make in the world?
c) getting me closer to my goals?
2) If not, why am I doing it?
If we can’t find a good reason why, maybe this is an indication that we shouldn’t be doing it at all!
This process is simple, but that doesn’t make it easy. The questions are uncomplicated, but our answers are revealing. They identify aspects of our lives that may be ripe for a change in approach.
Learning to trust in our own inner compass, we can set a course for a life that we wish to lead. We no longer feel obliged to chase a hand me down version of aspirations from others, that we feel no deep connection to.
To do this, we must find tactics, tools and habits that will work for us, to personalize our experience. This process will involve lots of experimentation and internal reflection but it’s time well spent. It’s all self-discovery.
We must learn to spend time inside, listen to what comes up and then follow what we uncover.
“We can commit to tapping into the signal, amongst the noise.”
We can try to navigate life in a way that fits and serves us best. Broader than this, we can try to navigate our lives in a way that means we turn up the best version of ourselves, for those we care for most.
As we embrace this journey, we will learn to be kind to ourselves and manage our emotions, constructively.
We can choose to engage with the world on terms of our setting.
We can liberate ourselves, elevate our thinking, challenge ourselves. We can set our own benchmarks for success.
We can learn to keep our minds calm, still and clear. We can keep our resolve resolute.
We can commit to tapping into the signal, amongst the noise.
Reset your inner compass. Reconnect with what burns deep inside. Recalibrate. Learn to trust instincts, even if they have been lying dormant for some time.